


Dragons!

by Fictionista654



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crack, Dragons, F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 01:59:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18305867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionista654/pseuds/Fictionista654
Summary: “I’m sure you know that some dragons have the ability to change into human form,” said Merlin. Gwen nodded. “These sorts of dragons can sometimes form, er, attachments with humans they see as being suitable mates.”“Attachments? You mean they want to get with me?” Gwen said in horror.Merlin winced. “That is the idea, yes.”“I’m not shagging any dragons!” Gwen said. “End of!”





	Dragons!

**Author's Note:**

> I just really love Morgwen, and I'm really tired, and this happened.

There was a dragon on Gwen’s porch. It was green, like a pond in summer, and curled up with its tail around it. It opened an eye when Gwen came up the steps, decided she wasn’t not a threat, and shut it again.

“Really?” Gwen said crossly, digging around in her pocket for her keys. “Why me? I’m a good person. I do my taxes. Why do _I_ have to be the crazy dragon lady?” The dragon snorted a puff of ash. Gwen thought it might be laughing. “You’re impossible,” Gwen muttered. “You’d better not be here when I come back out.”

Of course, an hour later, the dragon hadn’t budged. “You’re scaring away all the squirrels,” said Gwen. “Tell me, what’s the point of a squirrel feeder without any squirrels?” It looked like the dragon shrugged, though that could have been a trick of the light. Gwen sighed. “Do I give out vibes or something? Dragons, please come roost on my porch?” Because this dragon wasn’t the first one to appropriate Gwen’s porch, not by a long shot. For whatever reason, dragons loved her.

She wasn’t quite sure why the dragons didn’t understand that _she_ didn’t love _them_. “I don’t suppose you’d leave if I ask nicely?” said Gwen. The dragon gave her a look that clearly said, _Not on your life._

The next morning, not only was the green dragon still there, but it had been joined by a blue one the color of a cloudless spring sky. 

“Lovely,” said Gwen, stepping over them. 

 

“What am I doing wrong?” Gwen wailed. It was lunch time, and she and Merlin were in the break-room, eating sandwiches from the vending machine. “You’re a warlock, don’t you have any ideas?” Merlin bit his lip. “What?” said Gwen. “What?”

“You said this has been going on for a few weeks?”

“Yes,” said Gwen. “Usually it’s the green one or the blue one, but there are others, too. I don’t know what to do about it.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, unless…”

“Unless what?” demanded Gwen. 

“No, really,” said Merlin. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Merin!” said Gwen, and snatched his sandwich out of his hands. “You don’t get this back until you tell me what you mean.”

“I’m sure you know that some dragons have the ability to change into human form,” said Merlin. Gwen nodded. “These sorts of dragons can sometimes form, er, attachments with humans they see as being suitable mates.”

“Attachments? You mean they want to get with me?” Gwen said in horror.

Merlin winced. “That is the idea, yes.”

“I’m not shagging any dragons!” Gwen said. “End of!”

“Gwen, Gwen, I didn’t say you had to shag any dragons,” said Merlin. “I’m just telling you what the dragons may be doing. But if they’re not bringing you any presents, I wouldn’t worry just yet.”

When Gwen got home, the blue dragon was on her porch, one claw resting on a shiny bit of mother-of-pearl. “No, no, no,” said Gwen. “That better not be what I think it is.” But it was. The dragon had given a present.

After that, the gifts came thick and furious. It seemed the green and blue dragons had scared all the other ones off, and were now competing against each other for Gwen’s attentions. They out-did each other over and over again, piling precious gems and golden coins on Gwen’s welcome mat until she’d amassed a small fortune. It didn’t do any good to refuse the gifts, because they just came back, and soon Gwen was a regular at her local pawn shop, where she’d exchange the gifts for money to give to charity.

“You saved a tree today,” she told the green dragon. It smirked. 

As autumn turned into winter, the the blue and green dragons spent ever more time on her porch. When Gwen came home, they’d nip at each other as they vied to greet Gwen first. According to Merlin, it wouldn’t be long now before they a) hibernated, or b) avoided hibernation by turning into their human forms for the winter. For now, though, she had to deal with bulky gits taking up all her space.

One day, Gwen came home in a terrible temper. Everything that could have gone wrong had gone wrong. She’d spilled coffee on her computer, lost her report, tripped on the goddamn stairs. “NO MORE!” she said, marching up to the dragons. “I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS! GO AWAY! IT’S NOT FAIR! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GO!” Then she burst into tears. To her shock, the dragons looked at each other, and flew away. 

That night, Gwen played loud music and danced in celebration. “Yes!” she said, pumping the air. “Yes, yes, yes!” 

The next morning, there was a naked man with vivid blue eyes and a naked woman with piercing green ones on her front porch. “I’m dreaming,” Gwen said faintly.

“I am sorry,” said the woman. “It has been a long time since we wore warm flesh. Our manners are rusty. Please accept our deepest apologies.”

“Ssssss,” agreed the man, who apparently couldn’t talk, even as a human. The green dragon had always seemed smarter to Gwen, anyway.

“Um. Accepted, I guess,” said Gwen. “Still, it really was quite rude of you two.”

“Yes,” said the woman. “We will go now.” She turned, pulling the man with her.

“Wait!” said Gwen. They looked at her. 

“You have made your decision?” the woman said hopefully. “You have picked me?”

“SSSSSSSSS,” complained the man.

“Look,” said Gwen. “I’m free at five after work. Why don’t you find some clothes and take me out to dinner?”

The woman grinned a reptilian grin. “I would love that.”

“SSSSSSSS???” said the man.

“Sorry,” said Gwen. Then she smiled wickedly. “I do know someone you might like. His name is Merlin.” 

 


End file.
